Dogbert’s Whip

Any normal human being who slaves through work or school would agree that one entry that should merit space in any self-help book is this: “Weekdays are meant to be excruciatingly boring and slow.”

It’s quite baffling why time seems to pass slower on days starting with letters other than ‘S.’ On some particularly boring days in the office, I’m tempted to think that Einstein erred when he formulated his Theory of Relativity. One needs not to travel at the speed of light (that’s a ‘measly’ 300 million miles per second) to make the transit of time appear slower to a stationary observer. Motivating one’s self to accomplishing artificial deadlines on weekdays would have similar effects on time. And you won’t need a keen proficiency in differential calculus to know why.

Unless your folks have ventured to highly-profitable businesses using capital gained from organized crime or politics, skipping workdays is never an option. For one, people in the workforce are aware that companies compensate their employees for about eight hours they spend working. Not counting inevitable overtime work, this ‘work time’ usually translates to ONLY about an hour or two of deceptive tapping of the computer keyboard. The rest of the time is spent on meals, sipping hot cups of caffeinated drinks, staring at dead air, logging on to Friendster and countless other web sites, and gossiping about the latest twists and turns of those cheesy ‘Koreanovelas’ that everybody seems to fancy these days.

Along with dysfunctional personal relationships, corrupt government officials, and society’s other ills, weekdays are probably one of the proverbial crosses that people have to contend with everyday. While some ambitious overachievers in school and a couple of nosy suck-ups in the workplace relish those dog gone weekdays, most of us do not. But through it all, if whatever we do on weekdays support or will eventually lead us to the life we’ve always dreamed of, then it’s probably healthy if we just stop whining and get our hineys back to work. But if it doesn’t, then tough luck. We’d just take what most Catholic priests preach in their sermons:

“A barefoot Jesus carried a gigantic cross all the way to a hill in Golgotha on a blistering day. He was jeered, whipped, and hit with stones. He was barbarically crucified afterwards to absolve mankind’s sins…”

So there you go — weekdays or mankind’s sins. Which cross would you rather carry? Yeah, right. Whatever. But elsewhere around the globe, the avid believers of Buddha or Mohammed or Brahma or ‘Deity Whoever’ have their own tales to share.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 26th, 2005 at 7:57 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.