Stupid Bitch
It has been my daily ritual to check the news over the internet. Don’t get me wrong; I’m still a big fan of the broadsheets and the occasional gossip tabloid. But if you’re dying to know who got booted out of this week’s episode of American Idol or which team won in the current NBA play-off matches in real time, you’d rather press that mouse, right?
This morning, while I was scanning through the news section of Yahoo, I stumbled on this interesting news bit: “Groom Still Wants to Marry Runaway Bride.” Still feeling lethargic from the long weekend, I decided to read it. And how I regretted it! It was definitely an awful way to start the week.
Let me give you a synopsis of this oddity: A crazy woman from Duluth, Georgia who goes by the name Jennifer Wilbanks gets cold feet a few days before her would-be lavish wedding. She then leaves her wallet and engagement ring at home and embarks on a cross-country bus ride that ended in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Getting there, she phoned the Duluth police from a phone booth in a local 7-11 outlet that she has been assaulted and kidnapped by a Hispanic man and a blonde woman. Even before she made that phony call, her jilted fiancé exhausted all efforts to find her. Volunteers turned up left and right for her safe recovery. The City of Duluth even spent thousands of dollars to search for her. But in the end, the FBI was able to extract this not-so-shocking discovery: Jennifer’s distressing story is fake.
After closing out on the news item, I remembered “Runaway Bride,” a Julia Roberts movie that makes it to my list of “One of the Worst Movies that I Had Spent My Hard-Earned Money On.” I guess I don’t have to elaborate why I hated every minute of this movie. I’m even getting the slightest hint that this is Ms. Wilbanks’ favorite movie.
Cold feet or plain psychosis, Jennifer Wilbanks does not deserve a morsel of sympathy. She represents all the spoiled and unreasonable women in the world who make life difficult for men. I feel sorry for Jennifer’s fiancé. He’s caught in a sad dilemma: either he calls off his engagement with his looney girlfriend and be condemned by feminists everywhere, or he goes on with the wedding and be doomed forever with that stupid girl. Since he’s announced to do the latter, I guess that makes him even more stupid. But then again, it’s so much easier to decide on that matter in the USA since divorce is legal. If this happened in the Philippines, Jennifer is doomed for spinsterhood unless she finds a replacement groom in the dingy halls of San Lazaro.
May 2nd, 2005 at 11:28 pm
Syempre magco-comment na naman ako kasi pinilit mo ko and as usual ako lang naman nagbabasa ng blog mo.
So what do I say? First off, ang manyak mo. Palitan mo na nga yang pic mo. Mas cute yung nakamuscle shirt ka. Mmm. Yummy! :p Lalo ka magugustuhan ni…. yung kameet mo mamaya. Uyyy!
Ay, OK magcocomment nga pala ko about the stupid BLOG ENTRY, I mean stupid bitch blog entry.
Again, ano ba pakialam mo sa guy. Hayaan mo sya magpakasal sa girl na yun. It’s his life anyway. I bet kung ikaw tapos may girl na kasing ganda ni Heart at kasing yaman pati at sobrang magaling magbake ng cookies, tapos nagrunaway nung ikakasal kayo. I bet that in a heartbeat, you’ll beg on your knees to let her take you back.
Ano? $1M, pero di sa US ha, dito kayo ikakasal so you’re doomed forever. OK lang, meron ka namang isang milyon pero bawal mangaliwa ha? So you’ll have to listen to her bitch around every freaking day of your married life. Except of course she won’t start a fight with you kasi she loves you so much. May catch lang, she tends to runaway every now and then kahit silver wedding anniversary nyo na. Hahahaha!
May 2nd, 2005 at 11:45 pm
NOT! Your million-peso offer is not good enough. I’m going to suggest one provision though — Whenever she runs away, I’m entitled to a 500,000 peso bonus after I or the police find her, whichever comes first. Then, I’m going to annoy her so often that I’ll get filthy rich without even lifting a finger. :p
May 3rd, 2005 at 12:22 am
Million dollar, mind you. Can’t you even read? I’d suggest the same thing though, annoy her so much so she’ll run away and never come back. :p